Final Fantasy Boredom
by KukaruiValentine
Summary: I know, I know, this was suppose to be a one shot deal, but I thought what if I just went on with it and did another chappy or two? This time, the group is on their way to Chocobo farms when they are interrupted by a trampoline and Can-Can dancing! FUNNY!
1. Bored and loving it

Beth: HI! Okay, this is my FIRST fan fiction, and I was bored and did it at school during my break that I have between some classes.  
  
(Sighs) Okay... here we go...  
  
A-hem....  
  
I do not own any of the characters here... wait, I own myself....  
  
Vincent: No you don't, I bought your soul for a quarter, remeber?  
  
Beth: Oh yeah, I wanted a can of soda pop.... (grabs the coke and drinks it down in one gulp) Ah, that was so worth my soul.... carbonated caffinated goodness... ahh.....  
  
Vincent: Er...  
  
Beth: Where was I? Oh yeah, I don't own any Final Fantasy Seven character, although I do wish I did own one or two....  
  
Vincent: One or two? Who else would you own beside cute loveable me?  
  
Beth: Hush! Back in the story!!! You will ruin the other fan fictions for them that DO have points, unlike this one.  
  
Vincent: (sighs and looks at her) Hurry up, I want to get back to the other one you are working on....  
  
Beth: You mean 'Horrors' Or Complete and Utter nonsense?  
  
Vincent: which one do I get to marry you in again?  
  
Beth: You are giving away the plot! (smacks at him)  
  
Vincent: EEP!  
  
Beth: (sighs) I am going to put up Horrors next. Then maybe Frozen heat.  
  
Vincent: Frozen Heat.. doesn't that have Kukarui in it?  
  
Nanaki: (looking around) Where is she anyway?  
  
Beth: She is going to be in this story too, IF you two would just behave and let me finish my disclaimer!  
  
Vincent: sorry....  
  
Nanaki: Yeesh, sorry...  
  
Beth: Finally, now, where was I? Oh, Yeah, I do not own any Final Fantasy Charater, so don't sue me or anything because I am just trying to have a little fun here.  
  
Vincent: And you can't sue her becaue you wouldn't get anything. I have her soul.  
  
Beth: (sniff) You bought it for a quarter...  
  
Boredom...  
  
Beth, Cloud, Tifa, Aeris, Vincent, Nanaki, Barret, Cid and Yuffie are walking along towards Kalm.  
  
Beth: (looking around) Did I forget someone?  
  
Cait Sith: (running up from behind) ME!  
  
Beth: (looks at him) GIANT RABID TOY!!! KILL IT!!! (takes her dagger and starts to run towards Cait)  
  
Cait Sith: eep! (runs and hides behind Tifa)  
  
Beth: (laughs) Cait, how could I forget you? You are so damned annoying!  
  
Yuffie: (grabs Cait from his mog) Good kitty!  
  
Cait: (screams then smothered by the sixteen-year-old's hugs)  
  
Beth: (looking around) We have been walking forever....  
  
Cloud: I can see two soft, huge mountains!  
  
Tifa: (smacks him) For the last time, quit looking at my boobs!  
  
Cloud: (looks up at Tifa's face) Sorry Teef....  
  
Cid: I hav' been walkin' fer miles 'n' miles 'n' my legs 're gettin' sore! An' I am gettin' outta breath! (weeze, weeze)  
  
Beth: (looks at Cid) Maybe if you didn't smoke so much, you wouldn't be out of breath!  
  
Cid: (grabs a cig) Thanks for reminding me, I haven't smoked in two and a half minutes!  
  
Beth: (wondering aloud) How does he sleep?  
  
Vincent: (points) We have an enemy starting to attack us!  
  
Beth: (sighs) Okay, Okay.... (looks at Cloud) ATTACK!!!  
  
*(Cool fight scene)*  
  
Vincent: (casting Haste All) There guys! Just be care-  
  
Beth: (gets hit in the head with a large clock) du-HH! (confused)  
  
Cloud: (gets hit on the head with a large clock too) ouch! (confused)  
  
Nanaki: (falls over, out cold)  
  
Cid: (looking at Vincent) Be car'ful wit' dat goddamned thing, ya stupid shit! (dodges his own flying clock)  
  
Beth: (looks at the enemy, a simple bug) Are you my mommy? (confused)  
  
Cloud: (looking around) Mommy? Where's mommy!!! MOMMY! I CAN'T FIND MY DIAPER MOMMY!!!!  
  
Vincent: (smacks himself in the head)  
  
Bug: A-hem? Are you guys going to attack me now or what?  
  
Aeris: (sighs) Here, (attacks with Ice) ARE WE HAPPY???  
  
Bug: (as he is dying) Yes. Thank you.  
  
Beth: (still confused, looking at Vincent) Hello.... do you know where the pony rides are?  
  
Vincent: (looks at her) . . . . .  
  
Cloud: (bites onto Nanaki's leg) CHICKEN!  
  
Nanaki: (wakes up) What the f-- AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Get him off of me!!!  
  
Barret: (looking around) What just happened?  
  
Aeris: (pulls Cloud off of Nanaki's leg)  
  
Beth: (Back to normal) Whatever do you mean?  
  
Vincent: (sighs) Guys, this is just a publicity stunt for Beth  
  
Beth: No. This is to make sure I know how to post my beautiful work on FanFiction.net.  
  
Everyone: Huh?  
  
Beth: Forget that....  
  
Everyone: *Forgets*  
  
Beth: now, onto Kalm!  
  
Cloud: (looking at Script) THAT was my line, you stole it!  
  
Beth: (holds up eraser and erases Cloud's name from the line and pencils in her own there) Hmm... now, ON TO KALM!!!  
  
Cloud: (pouts) I know that was my line.... (sniffle) She never lets me have any fun....  
  
Beth: (punts Cloud into Kalm) THERE! Is that fun!?  
  
Cloud: (as he is flying out of sight) Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tifa: We have to go get him....  
  
Beth: (nods)  
  
Barret: Le's git a-goin' now....  
  
The group walks off into the setting sun.  
  
A/N;  
  
Vincent: What a pointless bunch of fluff this was....  
  
Yuffie: Vinny!  
  
Vincent: oh no....  
  
Beth: (growls at her) Back... stay back... he isn't a pedifile... or however you spell that dang word....  
  
Yuffie: He just dropped his gun back there, that is all... (hands him the gun and walks out)  
  
Vincent: (looks at the gun) I think I should keep this close by, Yuffie is dangerous.  
  
Beth: she has a crush on you, how sweet that is!  
  
Vincent: So, did this whole 'bored' story thing work?  
  
Beth: yes, now I can go work on Horrors as soon as I get home from work!  
  
Vincent: What chapter are you on?  
  
Beth: (counts) I think Part 3 chapter 10, it's almost done.... I do want to finish it so much  
  
Vincent: and Complete and Utter nonsense?  
  
Beth: I don't think I will post that, unless I revise it  
  
Vincent: And your new one? Frozen Heat? With Kukarui?  
  
Beth: AH, that one I will finish, but it will be heavy lemon  
  
Vincent: isn't horror lemon?  
  
Beth: yes, and a little dark Yaoi too....  
  
Vincent: (shudders) Who? may I be so bold to ask....  
  
Beth: (looks at him) We should let the people read it,  
  
Vincent: (gulps) me?! I don't want to get--  
  
Beth: Hush, it's part of the story, and you get your revenge.... now hush! TO THE BATMOBILE!!!  
  
Vincent: Yes! To the BATMOBILE!!!  
  
Beth: Just a note, (jumps into the batmobile and buckles her seatbelt) Please R&R my pointless storyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!  
  
Vincent: (takes off)  
  
End. 


	2. CanCan dancing and Trampolines

A/N: I know, I said it was a one shot, but boredom isn't very fun either. This is just another thing they have done as they are walking from Kalm to the chocobo farms, please R&R and I will write more~

I don't own these clowns! I just try to coral them into the circus on occasion!

Nanaki and Cloud: (walking along the road to the Chocobo farms) Hi-ho… hi-ho it's off to work we go…

Vincent and Cid: (whistle off key)

Beth: What the….

Tifa: Huh? 

Aeris: Beats me!

  
Barret: Okay! (Beats Aeris)

Aeris: No! No! No! NO! I didn't mean seriously! OUCH!

Barret: Sorry… (hands her a cure materia) 

Aeris: (takes it, uses the materia and then shoves it down Barret's throat) There, now I feel much better.

Vincent and Cid: (now dancing the Can-Can) La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la LA LA LA LA LA LA LAAAAAAAAA la! La la la la laaa la la la la la laaaaaaaaa laaaaaaaaa la la la la laaaaaaa la la la la (tune of the Can Can)

Cloud: (stares at the two and joins in)

Nanaki: (gets kicked by Cid) Hey!

Beth: (slaps self in head and sighs) Can this get any worse?

Turks run in, Elena, Rude, Reno and Tseng, joining in the Can Can.

Tifa: you spoke too soon.

Beth: (sigh) why do we do this?

Tifa: (sighs too) I don't know… hey look a trampoline! 

Beth: (nods) Race you there!

  
Sephiroth: (appears and joins in the group Can Can, now consisting of Vincent, Cid, Cloud, Tseng, Reno, Rude, and Elena)

Beth: (jumps onto the trampoline) 

  
Tifa: (jumps on too) Hey, this is fun!

Beth: (laughs) Hey! Watch this! Boing! Boing! Finding Nemo Rip off!

Tifa: (touchs toes)  
  
Cloud: (drops dead) Huh!!!!!!!!!!!

The others continue with the can can. Vincent stomps on Cloud's dead body.

If you have seen a picture of Beth, then you know that this probably looks like the friggin' Man show ending

Rude: (Adam Corolla) Now, GIRLS JUMPING ON TRAMPOLINES!

Reno: (Jimmy Kimmel) Yes! GIRLS JUMPING ON TRAMPOLINES!!!!!!!!

Beth: (laughing)  
  
Aeris: Cool! That looks like FUN! (jumps on too)

  
Yuffie: (uses Nanaki as a catapult to launch herself on the trampoline)

Beth: (does back flip)

  
Vincent: (passes out)

Reno: (dies)

The rest of the group keeps doing the Can-Can. (Did I mention that now Rufus, Reeve, Palmer and Scarlet are in the Can-Can line?)

Yuffie: Wee! (toe touches)

Reeve: (dies)

Elena: (jumps onto the trampoline too)

Tseng: (holds up a gil) Do a back flip baby!

Elena: (does a back flip)

Tseng: (nosebleed) Uh…. (faints)

Tifa: (jumps up, she come out of her top)

  
Several random Tifa fans take pictures, then disappear.

Tifa: (jumps off the trampoline) Oops…

  
Cloud: (magically back to life, sees Tifa again… dies)\

Nanaki: (passes out)

Elena: (does toe touch)

Rude: (dies from a nose bleed)

Can-can line stops. 

Scarlet: Let me join you girls!

All the girls jump off the trampoline and run behind some trees, every man is now alive again.

Tseng: Where did Elena--- OH NO! Scarlet! Don't jump on the trampoline!

Reno: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sephiroth: (covers his eyes)

Reno: (screams)

Tifa: Gods, she is skankier than Aeris!  
  
Aeris: I think you mean yourself there Tifa!

Tifa and Aeris: (cat fight)

Scarlet: (does a toe touch on the trampoline, going commando)

Everyone except Scarlet: (passes out)

Scarlet: (laughs, gets off the trampoline and rummages through everyone's pockets for gil and other things)

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Scarlet: (she finds 14,045 gil from Barret; She finds a phamplet entitled 'How to care for your new implants' from Tifa, she gets a 'Talk to the Planet for Dummies' Book" and a "Yuri for beginners" from Aeris. From Cloud she grabbed 34,451 gil and a bike horn. From Rufus she managed to sneak four tubes of hair gel; she took Vincent's cape and found a book in it, "How to make girls like you by just being depressed all the time') That's how the bastard does that! (She found another book in his cloak that was, "Gothic and proud") hmm? (She took all of Yuffie's materia. She stole 35,049 gil from Nanaki along with a book, 'How to get a girl to enjoy Bestiary') Gross… (She took Rude's flask of Everclear, Cid's Cigarettes, Sephiroth's Masusume.) Hmm… feel the power…. (She took Beth's necklace and it shocked her, so she dropped it,) DAMN! (She got Lard off of Palmer, she  looked through Reno's pockets to find a plastic comb, some corn puffs and a used condom) What the fuck…. Where is the wrapper? (she found the wrapper to the condom in Rude's pocket, along with some Rogaine.) Gross… just gross… (but she found the rest of the box in Elena's dress, along with some weed and some LSD, and a book 'Don't fret the small stuff, just get high' and another selection called, "Growing boobs for Dummies".) oh? Hmm… maybe they are more then just 'Work Pals!' (She looked around, and satisfied that she couldn't find anything more, she left)

Everyone is just passed out!  
  
Isn't this good? I liked it, just something that isn't having to do with anything, just something to type when the boredom gets too high!

Vincent: (smiling) I got to see your panties….

Beth: hush, you saw that Scarlet didn't wear any!

  
Vincent: (passes out)

  
Beth: There, so please review! I am begging you!!!!!!!!


	3. Aeris Dies and Cloud's spiky do'

Chappy three!!! I am so proud of myself. I like this parody thingy. Right now I am listening to the theme to "Queer eye for the Straight guy" video, so this one may be a little weird. What am I saying? All these things get weird!!!!!!

On the road towards (Where do they go after Chocobo Farms? I forget!) looking it  up on the internet

JUNON! That's right; I think….

Okay, they are on their way to Junon.

  
Accidentally Yuri   
***********

Cloud: What the fuck just happened back there?

Barret: Besides the fact that you thought nine people could ride on ONE chocobo?

  
Chocobo: War…..war….. 

Tifa: Could you move a little? You're crushing my boobs!  
  


Aeris: Sorry! Somebody has their hand up my dress!

Beth: (blushing) oopsy….

  
Aeris: Oh, I though it was Cloud… felt good though…

Beth: gross.

Tifa: Whose hand is that… whoever that is never stop.

Yuffie: (turning red) Sorry Teef.

Cloud: (stops the chcocobo, all the group falls off) 

Beth, Tifa, Aeris, and Yuffie land in a pile.

Beth: (mumbles)  
  
Tifa: Oh… ACK! Beth! I didn't know you were THAT way!

Beth: I am not… (Stands up)

Tifa: damn.

Aeris: I am!

Tifa: Really?  
  
Aeris: Of course!

Yuffie: Oh, me next! Me next!

  
Beth: What the fuck is going on here?

The girls (minus Beth) run off towards a bush

Cloud: GIRLS! Later!!!!!!!!!!

Barret: no, just grab a seat… (Pulls up some lawn chairs, a cooler and some chips)

Beth: (shrugs) Can't beat them… (sits down)

Cloud: (sighs) Might as well…

Beth: yeah.

Nanaki: (sits) Hey guys….

Barret: Oh… (gets smacked with a boot)

Cid: Guys….

Cloud: (ducks as another boot and a boomerang flies by his head)

Cid: GUYS!

  
Cloud: (gets hit as the boomerang comes back around)

Beth: (sighs) This is going to take forever.

Barret: (eating chips, opens the cooler) want a beer?

Cid: Guy—beer? Okay….

Nanaki: Guys! Think about it! 

Cloud: (grabs a beer) Think about what?

Nanaki: We have Cid, we have Yuffie… (dodges an article of clothing) We have VINCENT! 

Cloud: (looking around) yeah? So?

Nanaki: We have the god damned AIRSHIP!

Cid: no, in order to have that, Aeris needs to die….

Suddenly, the group is at the temple of the ancients, and Aeris is at the Alter. Sephiroth jumps down and kills her.

They are all transported back to Junon area without Aeris, and plus the Highwind.

Barret: (Glares at Cid) You and your big mouth!

  
Tifa: Ahh… we were having FUN! (picking up her clothes from around the ground)

Several male and female Tifa fans run up, snap pictures and run off.

Tifa: That has been happening a lot lately…

Cloud: (looking in magazine) Tifa's tits… hmm… (opens the centerfold) (eyes bug out)

Beth: (sighs) What could be worse?

The Highwind crashes down onto Cloud. 

  
Cloud: I have a headache mommy…

  
The ship breaks in half.

  
Beth: Damn, that is some strong spiky hair.

Cid: My ship! (dies)

Beth: What a day….


End file.
